But lowering your overall standards in terms of personality or just general worthiness is a bad idea.
It’s understandable that we women would try, though.
I thought perhaps my expectations (someone who looks at me and thinks, for even half a second, ) were too high because it takes time for such strong emotions to form. But all I learned is that I can talk myself into liking someone.
And fuck, the guy I lowered my standards for didn’t even want to make out with me (I asked)!
How do I *quickly* discern if a boy is worth keeping around? Something Dear Snark Kitty, When it comes to friendship, lowering your standards is very smart, particularly as you get older.
All parallel universes seem to live in my head; it’s up to me to enact the universe in which the boy and I take things to the next level.
And frankly, I myself was a little allergic to radishes! Radishes were much harder to get along with than potatoes. ” when I talked instead of averting their eyes at my non-potato-y ways, they also had so many radishy words coming out of their mouths that they weren’t very good listeners. It was so easy to piss them off, and they’d TELL you when they got pissed, unlike the potatoes! But mark my words: A radish cannot pretend among the potatoes forever.
Radishes wore their hearts on their sleeves, like I did when I was feeling weak, so as a result, they seemed weak to me. As a wise man once said, a radish who chases potatoes around and moves in with potatoes is an unhappy radish. Her advice column will appear here every Wednesday.
Why don’t you have a radish friend to tell you, “Dude, he’s a potato. ” It’s true that radishes can be inconvenient, with their complicated feelings and demands. Young radishes are, nine times out of ten, super-taxing and dysfunctional. They will get weird or talk too long about their artistic pursuits or disappear suddenly or advocate for open relationships (which is great if you also love open relationships, but personally, I prefer comfort and predictability over almost everything). The very best of everything springs forth from that kind of primordial, aching radishy love. Observe closely before you make plans to get into his twice-baked boxer briefs.
But when a radish meets another radish and they see each other clearly and support and love each other for their sharpness and their bitterness and their incomparable zing (yes, I am beating this metaphor into the ground. If he’s a hardworkin’, simple, brother-friend-loving spud, shove him back into the ground with his brother-friend spuddies, and take your bright-red zing somewhere else. Honor it in your friendships, in your work, in your recreational time, in your love life. Once you do this, instead of learning to tolerate indifference, you will have to learn to tolerate attention — someone who looks you right in the eye and listens to you closely.