Passive aggressive people are fairly handy at showing up and meeting needs during the good times, not so much during the bad times.
Their fear of conflict coupled with their fear of forming emotional connections keeps them from being a fully engaged marital partner. Try to engage in conflict with a passive aggressive spouse!
They show their anger by withholding something they know you want, through procrastination, stubbornness and obstructionism.
You may not have witnessed this behavior before marriage because passive aggressives also have a tendency to agree with and comply to everything they feel you want.
It’s riddled with conflict and, at no time, do we want to feel more connected and cared about than during conflict with our spouse.
When they begin to feel unsafe with their own skewed emotions they disconnect and leave you with more anxiety and doubt in yourself and the relationship. The passive aggressive retreats completely and you are left to pick up the pieces. The passive aggressive doesn’t see it that way, though.
The more logical they appear to become the more desperate you feel emotionally due to feeling of being cut off or dismissed.
Although the passive aggressive appears to be calm and logical they aren't.
People who suffer from passive aggressive behavior have a hard time expressing their feelings verbally.
This results in them suppressing any negative emotions they may experience.
Right up until they are no longer able to hold in their pent-up anger from years of agreeing and complying with.